


Beep Beep

by itried



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, MY POOR CHILD, Nightmares, OT7, eddie is a little ball of fury, everyone is worried, pennywise is dead but it still haunts them, pennywise tells richie he should shut up so much that richie starts believing him, richie is a mess, stan is richie's best friend, this fic is gen but there are both stozier and reddie scenes because I'm a ship whore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 12:30:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13318131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itried/pseuds/itried
Summary: "I'm not afraid of you!" Richie tries, - god, he really does, - to fight back this time, but It just laughs at him."How many times do we have to beep you before you shut up for good, hmm, Richie?" Its hands are all over Richie's face, all over his mouth, and Richie can't talk, he can't breathe. "I think I'll do your friends a favor and just kill you." It laughs again, mouth opening and shining and Richie...Richie wakes up.





	Beep Beep

Pennywise is dead, they've killed it, but Richie still wakes up screaming and crying.

It's not a big deal, he tries telling himself. After everything that had happened, they all have nightmares, it's normal, and they'll be gone soon. They have to be, god, Richie doesn't think he can take anymore of this. It's the third night in a row he dreams about Pennywise, and it's always the same thing. He's back into that creepy-ass doll room in Neibolt staring at a life sized Richie doll, eyes vacant, glasses broken, and mouth sewed shut. He tries running, he tries screaming, but no sounds escape him, he can't even open his mouth, it has been sewed shut and it hurts, god it hurts so much. 

"Beep beep Richie" Pennywise laughs and laughs, his teeth getting sharper and bigger and... That's when he wakes up. To be safe, he doesn't try to go back to sleep, he just hugs his own legs, rocking back and forth, waiting for the sun to come out.

Getting ready for school feels stupid, it feels fake. It's like he's playing the role of a normal student who cares about normal things like getting good grades and making fun of his teachers. Everything feels empty now, but he does it anyway because he has to, because there's nothing left for him to do. It all feels like an outer body experience, he feels detached, like he's seeing things through somebody else's eyes and living somebody else's life and it's fake, fake, fake. 

It gets better when he finds the losers, because they're real and, more importantly, they are Richie's. _I did that._ Richie breathes out, _I made friends with them, I was the one who followed Stan around since our first day at school, I was the one who helped Bill, Eddie and Ben in the barrens, I took Bev out on a movie date and she taught me how to play with yo-yos, I nicknamed Mike "homeschool," I'm one of them and they're mine. You can't have them._

He doesn't know if he's saying it to Pennywise's ghost, trying to convince It, or if he's trying to convince himself.

"What's up losers?" He waves at his friends, receiving tons of greetings, smiles and a pat on the back from Mike, who's now attending high school with them. _This. This is mine._ He repeats it to himself, and he doesn't know why, but he's getting desperate, his heart beating fast on his chest and he's breathing hard, but he thinks it again and again, because it's important, they're important, and they make him important.

When he manages to calm down enough, he turns to his friends. They're all laughing from something Stan said, and Richie's sad that he missed it. Stan is really funny, and he doesn't even try to be. Richie, on the other hand, tries really hard. 

"Stan the Man gets off a good one!" He tries, and it's loud, it's probably too loud, but he likes it loud, he needs to be loud so it can drown Pennywise's incessant _"beep beep Richie beep beep Richie beep beep beep_

"Beep beep Richie" Stan rolls his eyes, and the rest of the losers laughs so hard they don't see Richie physically flinch away from the words.

It's okay, Richie tells himself, it's just a joke, it's an old inside joke and it's funny. He takes a deep breath. They've always beeped him, it's not a big deal, he can't let Pennywise ruin this for him. Another deep breath and it's working. Besides, they're just trashing the trashmouth, it's not like they really mean it, right?

xxx

"I'm not afraid of you!" Richie tries, - god, he really does, - to fight back this time, but It just laughs at him.

"How many times do we have to beep you before you shut up for good, hmm, Richie?" Its hands are all over Richie's face, all over his mouth, and Richie can't talk, he can't _breathe._ "I think I'll do your friends a favor and just kill you." It laughs again, mouth opening and shining and Richie...

Richie wakes up.

xxx

"You look terrible." It's the first thing Eddie tells him next day at school.

"And you look amazing as always, my dear Eddie Spaghetti." Richie jokes, but Eddie just stares back at him; he's having none of it. But it's okay, Richie knows what to do. "I'm okay, Eds, I just didn't get much sleep, too busy fucking your mom!"

"Beep beep Richie." There it is. Richie was expecting it, he really was, but somehow it still hurts. 

Shaking his head, Eddie turns and leaves, leaving Richie alone in the hallway. 

xxx 

The needle tores through his skin and Richie wants to scream. He wants to scream, but he can't move his lips, they're sewed shut. He wants to scream, but no sound leaves his mouth, and everything is quiet, everything is so quiet, except for the splashing of gray water as Pennywise dances in front of him. 

xxx

_Get the fuck over this._ He has to spend a few minutes psyching himself up enough so he can stop freaking the fuck out. Bill, Bev, Stan, they all had so much worse than he did, and they're fine. All Richie had to deal with were a few missing posters, and creepy dolls, he got off easy, so he should be okay! He's gonna be okay, it's okay. 

They hang by the quarry after school, and it is okay. They're all talking and joking around, and it is more than okay, it's good. Richie lights up a cigarette he stole from Bev, and closes his eyes as he takes a deep drag. 

The next minute, the cigarette is gone from his fingers, and he opens his eyes to stare at Beverly. "I'm stealing it back, asshole." She says and takes a drag. 

Richie's doing his irish cop voice before he can even think about it. It slips right off his tongue and he yells at Bev that he's gonna have to arrest her for this. 

Beverly is smirking at him, but then Bill calls out, from behind her: 

"Ss-sh-shut up, Richie!" 

Richie's first thought is to crack a smile and answer with something like "as you wish, milord," but there's something inside his mind that keeps telling him that they aren't going to laugh. That they think it's annoying. 

They think _he's_ annoying. 

So Richie just does them all a favor and shuts up.

xxx

Everything hurts. His lips are numb, from the pain and the cold. He can feel all the warmth leaving him as all his blood does and he wants to scream for help, he really does, but he can't. 

"You're so loud!" Pennywise laughs at him. "Even with your mouth shut, you still manage to be loud! How do you do that?"

Richie swallows the sobs wrecking his throat in an attempt to stop them. Maybe if he's good, maybe if he's quiet, he'll survive this, so he tries. He tries so hard. 

"Still loud." Pennywise whispers, as he leans close to Richie. "You breathe too fucking loud."

xxx

He dials Stan's number the moment he wakes up, before he can even fucking think about what he's doing. It rings once, twice, three, four times, and the constant ringing almost lures him back to sleep, but then Stan's voice brings him back to reality. 

"Who is this?" Stan sounds tired and slightly annoyed. 

_Hang up, hang up, hang up._ Richie's mind is screaming at him, but he's frozen to the spot. 

"Today's a school night, asshole!" Richie can somehow hear Stan rolling his eyes over the phone. 

He feels bad for waking Stan up on a school night, he does, but he doesn't regret calling him, not when the sound of Stan's voice fills him with warmth and calms his heart. He closes his eyes and basks on this feeling for a minute, and then...

"Richie?" Stan calls for him. "Richie, I know it's you, what's..."

He helplessly watches his hand slam the phone down so fast he hits his elbow against the table. It hurts, but what hurts more is that Stan recognized him and probably hates him for calling him this late. But how? He doesn't understand. He never said a thing, how could Stanley know it was him?"

_"You breathe too loud."_ The wind whispers and Richie shivers. 

xxx 

Stan is after him the next day, but Richie denies everything. "Nah, I didn't call you, Staniel the maniel." God, he used that same joke last week, it's like he's not even trying anymore. "I can call you tonight but only if you promise to wear that red thong I love so much."

"Beep beep, Richie." Mike says, absently, and, fuck, not even sweet sweet Mike likes him. The smile freezes on Richie's face, he feels numb. 

"Stop with the bullshit, Richie." Stan stops walking, turns to him and stares him down. Richie feels terribly self-conscious, completely aware of everything that's wrong with him. Well, for starters, there's the teeth, the nose, the thick glasses, and his stupid fucking face that begs someone to punch it, but those are old news. Now, not even his mom's makeup can hide the dark circles under his eyes, or the red around his mouth, where he desperately scratched it to get rid of the thread Pennywise sewed his mouth shut with during his nightmares. He knows Stan notices. Stan notices everything. 

"Just tell me what's going on with you." Stan goes to grab his hands, and Richie flinches away so fast Stan is taken aback . "I... I... I'm worried, Rich."

"I'm okay, Stan. Promise." Richie lies, with a way too casual shrug and the frozen smile on his lips. 

xxx

The ride to the quarry is quiet and awkward, and it's all because of him, Richie knows. Stan can't stop staring at him and everyone else notices, nobody says anything about it, though. Richie's not talking, no one's talking and it's the worst. _I ruined them._

When they get there, Mike breaks the terrible, awful silence and begins talking about the twin kittens he just rescued, and everything is back to normal. Eddie is fretting over the diseases that cats can bring, Beverly is inviting herself over so she can get to know them, while Bill and Ben start talking names. Even Stan joins in after a few worried glances he sends Richie's way.

They're okay, Richie lets out a breath filled with relief, but it tastes bittersweet. _They're okay, but I'm not._ He should go before he ruins them for real.

He opens his mouth to excuse himself, but thinks better of it. He shuts up before anyone can tell him to, before _It_ tells him to. 

No one sees him leave. 

xxx

Richie doesn't want to fall asleep, because he knows it's waiting for him, and no matter what he does, or how hard he tries, he's still so loud and annoying his friends leave him to die and, oh god, oh god, he just wants it to stop. 

"Just stop talking once and for all." Pennywise whispers in his ears, and Richie doesn't even have any tears left to cry.

Richie has nothing left to do, but consider it. Maybe. Maybe he could. Maybe he _should._ It would be better for his friends and for everyone really, so maybe...

He suddenly opens his eyes, woken by pebbles being thrown at his window, but he doesn't remember falling asleep. He must have passed out from exhaustion, but still he feels tired. He feels so so tired. Another pebble hits his window, and Richie blinks awake, forcing himself to get up and move. He goes to the window and thinks he's still dreaming because all six of the losers are there. 

"Ruh-Ruh-Richie let us in!" Bill asks and Eddie throws out a "yeah, asshole," while everyone else just nods. 

Richie shouldn't. He knows he shouldn't, but he could never deny them anything, so he quietly goes down the stairs and opens the door for them. 

"What the fuck, Richie?" Bev shoves him in the shoulder. But no one else dares to say anything else until they reach Richie's room.

"What she said." Ben points to Beverly. "Richie, why did you leave without telling us?"

_You guys are better off without me._ Richie doesn't say, he just shrugs. 

"You know you can tell us anything, right?" Mike tries, and Richie nods. His friends are too good for him, and in return he just annoys the fuck out of them. 

"T-t-talk to us, Ruh-ruh-Richie." Bill asks him and because it's Bill, strong, brave, loyal Bill, Richie tries his best to obey. 

"What do you want me to say?" It's quiet, it's the quietest he manages, but it still annoys everyone. 

"How about what the fuck is wrong with you?" Eddie yells, his voice turning high and desperate, and he's so angry, Bill has to hold him back. 

"I... I'm sorry, Eds... Eddie." Richie remembers how much Eddie hates his stupid nicknames on time, and stops himself. 

Eddie's mouth opens and closes, and then opens again. "Stop this shit, Richie." He's so angry, he's ready to fight, but he doesn't know who he can fight and that just makes him even angrier. 

"I'm sorry!" Richie cries. "I'm so sorry, guys. Just... Just tell me what you want me to say, and I'll say it, I'll do whatever you want me to, I just... I know I'm annoying and loud, but I can do better, I can change, I know I can, so please..."

"What?"

"Richie!"

Everyone bursts out talking at the same time, and Richie knows he's made them angry, so he closes his eyes and takes a few steps back. "no, no, no, make it stop. Make. it. stop." 

And suddenly it does. The room falls silent as arms wrap around him, and hold him tight. Richie opens his eyes and meets Stan's brown ones. His best friend dropped to his knees so he could hug him. "Richie." He's gentle, he's so very gentle. "What did It say to you?" 

Someone gasps behind them at the mention of It, but Stan doesn't turn around. Richie has his entire focus, and it should be intimidating, but it isn't. Being this close to his best friend makes him feel _safe._

"It...It told me...to..." Richie's sobs stop him, and he frantically fights to overcome them, breathing heavily. He doesn’t remember when he started crying.

"It's okay, honey, take your time." Beverly kneels down in front of them, resting her hand on his shoulder, Ben coming right after her. Everyone follows them, slowly getting closer, wanting to provide some comfort. 

"We're your f-fr-friends." Bill takes one of Richie's hands, and Mike takes the other. 

"Richie." Eddie says, and Richie immediately, instinctively turns to look at him. He's the only one still standing, his fists clenched and shaking. "Richie, please." He knows his friend is hurting, and there's no one for him to fight, unless he goes back to the sewers to kick Pennywise's corpse. He feels helpless, defeated. 

Richie reaches for him, but stops in mid air, hesitating when he realizes what he's doing. Eddie doesn't hesitate, though, he meets Richie in the middle, throwing his arms around his friend's neck. 

He's not the only one. Everyone's hugging Richie now, just like they've all hugged Bill in the sewers, after killing It. 

_It's dead, It's dead, It can't hurt us, not when we're together._ Richie sobs again, but this time he feels better. 

"I'm just..." After some time, he begins. "Remembering Neibolt, when we were separated." He looks at Bill, who only nods encouragingly. "It locked me in this creepy room with all these creepy dolls and clowns, and there was this... This coffin. It had my missing poster on it and when I opened it, I was inside." Ben squeezes his hand. "A doll version of me, I mean, but it had its lips sewed shut. And... Pennywise showed up seconds later and It kept beeping me and telling me to shut up and he was holding a needle and a thread and I..." He has to stop for a moment, remind himself to breathe. "Then Big Bill opened the door and saved me and I'm okay!" He talks quickly, wanting to get it over with. 

"You're not." Beverly says softly, brushing his hair off of his eyes. 

"I have nightmares, too." Stan says before Richie can lie. 

"It... It hurts." Richie continues. "The needle, every night It sews my lips together, and tells me to shut the fuck up, and It really meant it. It wants me dead."

Nobody says anything, but the hands hold him tighter.

"And the worst thing is that I know It's right. I talk too much, I'm a fucking trashmouth and I annoy the fuck out of you guys, and you don't deserve... Maybe, maybe I should shut up. Like, for good."

The outrage is immediate. Mike and Bill sound shocked, Ben and Stan sound sad, Bev and Eddie sound _angry._ Eddie is suddenly on his feet, yelling. "IF YOU FUCKING DIE I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

Richie blinks at all of them, and then turns to Eddie. "That... doesn't even make sense. How can you kill me if I'm already dead?"

"Fucking watch me." Eddie bites back, the same moment Bev adds a "we'll find a way," and, suddenly laughter comes out of nowhere. 

They're all surprised, and Richie is the most surprised to realize that he's the one laughing. 

"Guys, I..." He doesn't know how to finish.

"Go on, Richie." Mike prompts him.

"I don't really have anything to say." Richie chews on the inside of his cheeks. 

"That never stopped you before." Stan says, and it's so incredibly fond that Richie _melts._ "We want to listen to you."

"You guys don't have to..."

"We don't have to, but we want to." Ben corrects him.

"Fuck that fucking clown!" Bev groans. "It's wrong! It doesn't know anything about us!"

"It d-d-d-doesn't know how mu-much we love you, and your t-t-trash mouth." Bill completes her. "Tell us a-a-anything." 

Richie's in awe. Fuck, he has the best friends ever, how did he accomplish that, what did he do to deserve them, what can he do to deserve them?

"I love you guys so much." He settles on telling the truth.

"We love you too, but go on." Bev smiles at him. "Proclaim your undying love for us, milord!" She's going for an english accent and it's horrible. Richie laughs, they all do, and right there, in his room, surrounded by so much love and affection, it's easy to find good things to say about them. 

So he talks. He talks, and they listen.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it! Feel free to go scream at me on [tumblr!](http://notagoodplace4gods.tumblr.com/)


End file.
